Bordeaux. The word conjures up everything elegant and rich and confusing and unknown if you’re the normal semi-literate wine snob-in-training, like me. The confusing and unknown aspects are part of the reason why so many Americans don’t enjoy these crown jewels of the wine world and the elegant and rich parts are why so many Americans should enjoy these wines. That being said, Bordeaux wines ARE confusing. I have no idea how to pronounce the names of all those Chateaux in the first place, except in the rather pathetic French accent I stole from Peter Sellers’ Inspector Clouseau character.

Italian wine regions and areas can be classified multiple times over, depending on the area, the climate, the history, the grapes, and through an infinite number of other ways. The following description of 7 Italian regions is meant to provide a basic guide, which will be supplemented in articles to come. The 7 regions consist of Veneto and Piedmont (to the North), Tuscany, Campania, Apulia, and the islands of Sardinia and Sicily (to the South).

Let’s pretend that I once had a friend named George. George was a Silicon Valley type, who made a boatload of money at his code-writing job right out of grad school. Being the bachelor that he was, living with a former college roommate, and not giving much thought to trivial matters like personal appearance or fancy-pants vacations, George soon found himself with lots of disposable income and too few hobbies to spend it on. So he turned to wine.

When I think of Napa Valley, it mostly, well, makes sense. It is clearly defining geographically—basically one straight shot 30 miles long and 5 miles wide. It has a clear varietal leader—in Napa, of course, Cab is King. It is straightforward logistically, with two roads running the length of the valley, and the occasional cross street linking the two. From Google Earth, it looks like a ladder. Then there’s Sonoma County. It’s often mistakenly referred to by novices as Sonoma Valley, perhaps because that would make it easier to understand.

Wine and chocolate seems like the perfect combination—two beautiful concepts wedded to create gustatory bliss. And it can be that way. The right chocolate paired with the perfect wine can create a near-orgasmic taste experience. But the wrong wine opposite a too-sweet chocolate creates nothing but horror. A bad pairing can turn an otherwise fabulous dessert to tree bark and a rare vintage to battery acid.

No country has a greater love affair with the art of winemaking than France. The passion with which the French enjoy a perfect food and wine pairing is an absolutely unparalleled experience. The average American can’t possibly understand the rooted history of this obsession, or the extent to which the French have gone to preserve their winemaking heritage. These folks are serious about many things, but none play second fiddle to the fermentation of the all-mighty grape. Swoop into any world-famous or mom and pop restaurant in France, and you’ll likely spy the volumes of bottles way before you lay eyes on the food. Chef superstars like Alain Ducasse and Joel Robuchon wouldn’t dream of a prix fixe extravaganza without the ideal wine accompaniments for each and every dish.

Deep beneath the surface of the Sonoma Valley, a controversy lies. Little is known of this controversy unless one happens to delve deep into Sonoma’s rapid growth in recent years. Many people may be surprised to know that Sonomans don’t really want to be compared to, or put against, Napa Valley, its closest rival. Napa, at least some people agree, has become a commercialized Sonoma with high-end shops, high-class eating establishments and high-priced wines; many believe too high-priced. Enter in the Wine Patrol, a group of individuals whose single most important quest in life is to locate, promote and praise Sonoma’s finest wines under $15-$30 and to bring public awareness to Sonoma and its original simple, non-glitzy charm that Napa has commercially overshadowed in the last few years.

In the summer of 2002, I embarked on a 3300 mile motorcycle tour of the California, Oregon , and Washington coasts, with strategic stops in the various wine regions along the way. The entire trek was amazing, but it was on this trip that I truly “discovered” the wines of Paso Robles. At the time, I knew the area as a producer of big, jammy zinfandels. What I quickly learned, however, was that the region produces an amazingly diverse collection of wines in as many different styles as there are vintners. It turns out that the varied topography of the Paso Robles AVA not only makes for great motorcycle touring, it has a microclimate to suit virtually any varietal you want to grow.

I’ve taken my column’s title from Michelangelo, who once wrote, “ I feast on bread and wine, and feasts they are .” Tuscany’s most famous sculptor had his heart in the right place. Wine has been part of Italian culture since the ancient Romans began to write.

The Rhone Report: About Rhone and Rhone-Style Wines and Winemakers is part of an ongoing series. We have just returned from the 2007 Rhone Rangers tasting at Fort Mason in San Francisco (March 18). This was the 10th annual public tasting organized by the Rhone Rangers ( www.rhonerangers.org ), an organization of nearly 200 American wineries dedicated to wines made from 22 grape varieties traditional to France’s Rhone Valley. At the San Francisco tasting, about 134 American (mostly California) producers offered tastes of more than 500 wines made with Rhone grape varieties.