Sure, I know that I’m technically supposed to be writing about the sights, sounds and happenings of a Russian River Valley tasting room, but the way I see it, my real assignment is to simply provide good wine tales. This month, it just so happens that my most interesting wine experience occurred in an altogether different valley – the valley floor of Telluride, Colorado.

My wife and I packed up the kid, four huge suitcases (three of which were his and included the Pack N’ Play and the long list of things that a 21-month old toddler requires on any excursion), four carry-ons, the stroller and a car seat for our week-long trek to Colorado. (The packing exercise alone was enough to drive a person to drink Two-Buck Chuck.)

The main quest of our trip – four days in Telluride, home of the famed Telluride Bluegrass Festival, Telluride Film Festival, Telluride Blues Festival, Telluride Wine Festival and, I can’t be certain, but I think there might even be a Telluride Festival Festival, which is dedicated to the few themes that don’t have their own festivals the rest of the year.

We were hitting Telluride at the close of the Bluegrass Festival and the start of the Wine Festival. By all accounts, this was the perfect time to be in Telluride (Unless, of course, you like Bluegrass music, in which case it was the least perfect time to arrive).

In case you don’t know much about Telluride, it’s an old miner’s town at 10,000 (or so) feet elevation. Although it’s only a town of about 2,000 full-time residents, the (really nice) homes start with a three. As in $3,000,000. Anything less than that, might be considered a fixer. I suppose then, with these kinds of prices and the wine festival coming to town, it should not have been a surprise to find a glass of 2005 Zinfandel on a menu for $18.

A glass. 2005. $18.

My wife, who is the real wine connoisseur in the house, was mesmerized by the mere suggestion of an $18 glass of wine. So mesmerized, in fact, that we ordered it. I mean, it must be liquid candy, right? Neither of us knew the winery, but we figured it must be some cult wine. We were certain that we were about to taste a representation of the fruit of that vine that, combined with the altitude, would be pure euphoria. (For those of you reading closely and wondering…the kid was sleeping at our rented condo, while we paid a babysitter $20/hour to pretty much do nothing.) We couldn’t wait to swirl, sip and sup. We were ready to tell all of our friends about this great find, and we just knew that $18 would be a bargain.

When we ordered the glass, our server actually stammered a bit, “I didn’t even know that was available by the glass. That’s a new addition to the menu. How lucky.”

But just like a movie with lots of buzz, the build-up proved far greater than the reality (see “Little Miss Sunshine”). Instead of feeling victorious after our first sip, we felt ripped off. So, ripped off that my wife kept the receipt from the evening and recorded the wine on the back for posterity. If she had her camera with her, she might have taken a picture of the menu. She simply couldn’t believe it.

Now, I’m the big proponent of the not-so-savvy wine tasting theory of “I like what I like and don’t like what I don’t like,” so I shouldn’t have been that surprised. The lesson in all of this, of course, comes like an equally not-so-subtle slap in the face. Price does not dictate quality.

The second lesson that I learned on this trip, and it’s one that I’ll take with me forever – drinking at altitude is WAY more fun than drinking at sea level.