Todd Lieman is a wine drinker with a writing problem. In addition to writing about wine, he regularly opines about sports, entertainment and parenting. His new book, The Go-to-Guide for Guys: ABC’s for Expectant Dads (Dalmation Press), should hit the shelves in June. A consummate multi-tasker, Todd not only drinks and writes about wine, he also pours it at the Arista Winery in Healdsburg, California, from which the stories told in this column are derived.
There was an episode of Seinfeld called “The Sponge,” during which Elaine, upon learning that her favorite form of birth control (the sponge) was going off the market, needed to make difficult decisions about whether her dates were “sponge worthy.” ELAINE: So, you think you're sponge-worthy? BILLY: Yes, I think I'm sponge-worthy. I think I'm very sponge-worthy. ELAINE: Run down your case for me again...? BILLY: Well, we've gone out several times, we obviously have a good rapport. I own a very profitable electronics distributing firm. I eat well. I exercise. Blood tests - immaculate. And if I can speak frankly, I'm actually quite good at it. ELAINE: You going to do something about your sideburns? BILLY: Yeah, I told you...I'm going to trim my sideburns. ELAINE: And the bathroom in your apartment? BILLY: Cleaned it this morning. ELAINE: The sink, the tub, everything got cleaned? BILLY: Everything, yeah. It's spotless. ELAINE: Alright, let's go. <They head for the bedroom.>