Bordeaux: A Question of Vintage

“My dear Greco! You surely aren’t serious!”

We were dining at Chez Panisse with the Count and Countess Ferrari, whom Anne, my better half, had met at some highbrow fundraiser to save vegan single mother whales. The Ferrari’s had latched on to her, representing themselves as the last in the line of the noble House of Ferrari. I thought I smelled a couple of phonies.

The Count was now questioning my wine selection. To be fair, in my mind I was questioning why German Panzer divisions had not obliterated the Ferrari estate during the last world war, but presently I returned to the wine selection.

The entrée was a medium rare beef loin in a beautiful wine reduction. Clearly a Bordeaux was called for. But which Bordeaux? Therein was the dispute, er, discussion.

It was, you see, a question of vintage. And when you start talking about Bordeaux vintages, you might as well be talking about Middle East peace at the United Nations. Agreement is going to be hard to come by, to say the least.

There are a couple of things to keep in mind with Bordeaux wines, specifically reds. The first is the year of the vintage. There are good vintages, bad vintages, average vintages, exceptional vintages, and even…classic vintages. But how the hell are you going to know plonk from perfection, especially when you haven’t opened the bottle? Furthermore, you’re sitting in a posh restaurant looking at the prices on the wine list and trying to remember just how much your cell phone bill was this month and whether the old credit card can stand the assault. You’re beginning to think the United Nations might be a better gig.